Sunday, February 9, 2014

Hell has a new name and it is Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears


It all began so innocently.  The need for something sweet but without all the sugar.  When I found them on Amazon, I was thinking SCORE!!  Something to curve my sweet tooth but won't rot my teeth. Plus, my anti-sugar husband might enjoy the frivolous purchase as well.



Then it began......

These little guys although very tasty, once swallowed became little hellish ninjas with swords that started to attack my digestive system with an internal battle I can only describe as some sort of world war. There may have been grenades involved as well.  The sounds emitted from my stomach were quite disturbing, a loud, ominous gurgling sound. And then the cramping began....oh my gosh.....the gut wrenching cramping...the pain so bad you just want to bend over and cry...or scream.  Really, it was quite horrific.  It was like my body was possessed by demons from the depths of hell. The trips to the bathroom were numerous, I think I might have broke some type of world record.

I would only recommend buying these treats if you have a co-worker or ex-spouse/partner you want to seek revenge on.  Or perhaps the boss everyone hates.  Consuming these would be the perfect cleanse for an upcoming colonoscopy....no kidding.  At least it would taste better than the crap they make you drink. I might just send a few packages to every member of Congress to show my deepest gratitude for the awesome job they are doing.

But seriously, if you are considering purchasing these, please PROCEED WITH CAUTION! And be sure to stay near a restroom....you're going to need it!